Anyone who watches Korean dramas will know this word, pronounced "ottoke?" When it is used by itself it means "What should I do?"
I can recall the time after my marital separation (1999) when I was not in ministry. I was able to secure a position at the Japanese American National Museum. At the same time I would undergo five years of pastoral care and discipline under my then-pastor, Gary Tawa. After being released from pastoral discipline, I waited to see if God would re-open doors for me to return to ministry. It had been five years since I had left my position at JEMS and although I was enjoying a good position and salary at the Museum, my heart still longed to find my place in God's service.
It wasn't really a passive longing. I can recall spending about an hour every night driving through the hills in and around Monterey Park, praying and asking the Lord to restore me. I asked him to help me find a new outlet for the gifts and talents that he had given me.
Despite my marital failure, I was trusting that God would somehow be able to use me in some way. He did so by opening the door in 2005 to pastoral service in Camarillo with a Japanese American church there. In 2008, I was invited by Rev Sam Tonomura to return to JEMS to share time between church responsibilities and the South America department. I continued in Camarillo until the end of 2011 at which time, my ministry transitioned again to become more focused on the South America Mission program. In 2015, I was invited to serve as an interim pastor for the West LA Holiness Church while still serving at JEMS. That interim assignment ended at the close of June 2016.
I'm thinking about that this morning as I face another decision about ministry and God's direction. While I still continue with an international ministry at JEMS, I am wrestling with the question of where I should worship and where I can invest myself in local church ministry as a layperson and attender. How do I transfer those gifts and skills that were so useful in reaching adults, youth and children in South America to be utilized in the southern California setting?
I realize that I need to step up my game. Unlike twelve years ago, I'm not spending an hour every night praying and pleading with God for direction. I need to find myself in that place of urgency once again and prepare myself to step into the opportunity that God opens for me.
Perhaps a reminder can be found in this video. It's one of my first efforts that I attempted back in 2009 . . . A slide show to the tune of "Cares Chorus."
